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Abuse is not about being out of control



Abusers deliberately choose… who they abuse… when they abuse…
where they abuse… the severity & frequency of the abuse…
the methods they use… & who witnesses the abuse.

Some victims believe…




that if they love their abuser enough… or help them through their problems...
drug/alcohol… stress… childhood experiences… then the abuse will stop…
but no matter what victims do…
they cannot stop another’s abusive/controlling behaviors

Abuse is about power & control








A few examples include:
threatens to commit suicide… starts fights when getting ready to go out…
doesn’t like you spending time with your friends and family…
accuses you of having affairs… drives recklessly to scare you…
speaks derogatively about your family & friends…
threatens to harm your pets… won’t let you sleep… calls you names…
humiliates you in front of your children, family, friends…
gets angry if you are a few minutes late… makes most of the decisions…


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